In my last post I talked about positivity, and today we’ll discuss confidence.
You know sometimes confidence gets a bad rap because it’s confused with more negative traits like arrogance. So let’s be clear about the meaning. Confident people can accurately assess their skills and capabilities. They believe in themselves when facing uncertainty and view themselves as able to meet challenges. Confident people persist in the face of failure and know that they can influence their environment. Said another way, a confident person does not think they’re a victim of circumstance.
Frequently in my coaching conversations people mention wanting to feel more confident. In order to get there, it requires taking risk, stepping outside of our comfort zone to invite challenges. Yes we will make mistakes, and yes it feels uncomfortable. But the more times we step into frightening situations and push through, the more we build confidence that we can do it again.
Set Learning Goals For Increased Confidence
Another way to shift our thinking in these new situations is, instead of setting performance goals, establish learning goals. Performance denotes pass or fail, good or bad. But when we have learning goals, we win. Even if things don’t go as planned, we learn something to use in the future and that’s positive.
Imagine that you take a new job that requires you to speak to groups. If you approach it with a learning mindset, then after each talk you can capture what went well and where you can improve. It’s also helpful to invite trusted associates to provide feedback to aid in your development. Each time you speak, you will feel more confident having learned from experience. And that translates to resilience because, having gained this confidence, you feel better prepared to tackle the next challenge that is presented. It has a cumulative effect.
Keep this in mind, and the next time you’re asked to step up, instead of thinking “I can’t do that”, ask yourself “how can I learn to do that?”. Your confidence will grow and so will your resilience.